The 1 networking rule 99% of people are afraid to follow

The 1 networking rule 99% of people are afraid to followThe 1 networking rule 99% of people are afraid to followHow many times have you found yourself at a networking event, only to feel like youre at a networking event?Ill let you in on a little secret These arent the events where real networking is taking place.I dont go to networking events. I dont attend things that require me to put on a Hello, My Name Is name24 stunden. I rarely attend big conferences with keynote speakers that spend 45 minutes talking about how you just have to hustle and marketing is all about great content, with absurd ticket prices that promise you will rub shoulders with all the right people.Ive tried these avenues, and they are always one-way streets toward the saatkorn disappointing destination.Real networking happens here insteadIt happens in backyards and exclusive dinners. Private meet-ups and friends getting together for drinks.Real networking happens when a friend introduces you to a friend. And the n that friend introduces you to a new group of people. And then in that new group of people, you make a new friend.And on and on and on99% of people dont approach networking this way. Heres whyPeople lack patience.They wear their desperation on their sleeves, and approach networking in a way that immediately reveals their true intentions. They dont want to get to know you, or learn about what it is you do and how they can truly help.What they want is to pitch their business. What they want is you to give them something.This is such a short-sighted approach to building your network.The reason big networking events fail is because everyone who attends tends to operate from the same script. Meaningful conversations arent taking place - just two people with business cards in their hands, giving their pitches back and forth. And then what happens? Both parties nod, smile, say, Well, it was great connecting with you. Ill shoot you an email and lets go from there.And then nothing happens. Because people like to do business with people they like, people they trust, and people they know through other friends and shared connections.This is the 1 rule you should follow instead, if you want to build a powerful network for yourselfMake friends, not connections.At the end of the day, I would rather work with someone I genuinely connect with over working with someone who treats me like a vendor.And so would everybody else.When youre building your network, look for the situations that are going to allow you to make friends - even if theyre business friends. Small settings do well. Friends of friends and e-mail introductions go a long way. Whatever you do, just keep the focus on making meaningful connections, instead of throwing your business cards all over the floor and hoping someone with a name tag picks one up.It might seem like a slower process, but what youll end up with is a strong circle of people you trust - instead of a rollkartei with a bunch of people who dont re turn your calls.Cole isa writer, speaker and founder of Digital Press.This article originally appeared on Inc. MagazineThe 1 networking rule 99% of people are afraid to followHow many times have you found yourself at a networking event, only to feel like youre at a networking event?Ill let you in on a little secret These arent the events where real networking is taking place.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreI dont go to networking events. I dont attend things that require me to put on a Hello, My Name Is nametag. I rarely attend big conferences with keynote speakers that spend 45 minutes talking about how you just have to hustle and marketing is all about great content, with absurd ticket prices that promise you will rub shoulders with all the right people.Ive tried these avenues, and they are always one-way streets toward the same disappointing destination.Real networking happe ns here insteadIt happens in backyards and exclusive dinners. Private meet-ups and friends getting together for drinks.Real networking happens when a friend introduces you to a friend. And then that friend introduces you to a new group of people. And then in that new group of people, you make a new friend.And on and on and on99% of people dont approach networking this way. Heres whyPeople lack patience.They wear their desperation on their sleeves, and approach networking in a way that immediately reveals their true intentions. They dont want to get to know you, or learn about what it is you do and how they can truly help.What they want is to pitch their business. What they want is you to give them something.This is such a short-sighted approach to building your network.The reason big networking events fail is because everyone who attends tends to operate from the same script. Meaningful conversations arent taking place - just two people with business cards in their hands, giving th eir pitches back and forth. And then what happens? Both parties nod, smile, say, Well, it was great connecting with you. Ill shoot you an email and lets go from there.And then nothing happens.Because people like to do business with people they like, people they trust, and people they know through other friends and shared connections.This is the 1 rule you should follow instead, if you want to build a powerful network for yourselfMake friends, not connections.At the end of the day, I would rather work with someone I genuinely connect with over working with someone who treats me like a vendor.And so would everybody else.When youre building your network, look for the situations that are going to allow you to make friends - even if theyre business friends. Small settings do well. Friends of friends and e-mail introductions go a long way. Whatever you do, just keep the focus on making meaningful connections, instead of throwing your business cards all over the floor and hoping someone w ith a name tag picks one up.It might seem like a slower process, but what youll end up with is a strong circle of people you trust - instead of a rolodex with a bunch of people who dont return your calls.Nicolas Cole isa writer, speaker and founder of Digital Press.This article originally appeared on Inc. Magazine.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people